Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , — @ 6:34 am December 24, 2009
assertiveness



Being assertive is good. It allows you to get your point across in a way that

is better remembered by the other party because of the intensity of the

emotion that is associated with it. However, assertiveness can also be a

pitfall when overdone. While it can seal deals, it also has the power to

destroy relationships and potential business opportunities. How, then, can

you assert yourself without being too pushy or annoying?

Here are some tips you might want to keep in mind the next time you try to

calmly convince someone to see your side of the story.

Don’t Bulldoze Your Listener

What is bulldozing? In sales, it is referred to as the act of drowning the

prospective clients in figures and facts in order to confuse them to eventual

submission. Keep in mind that the only way the other party will accept your

idea is when they have decided that they want it. People who have given in

to your bulldozing will do so only at first, but will eventually try to get out of

the situation, be it after a few minutes or after a few days. You must be able

to know how to read body language in order to decipher if a certain action is

appropriate for the situation.

Nevertheless, if you want to be an effective and truly successful persuader,

you want others to willingly agree with you, not because you almost forced

them unwillingly to do something or left them with no other choice. If you

are at a debate, this is fine. You are trained to tear the other person’s

statements apart. However, in a normal conversation, this is a major blunder.

“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still,” as the saying

goes. This means that while you may have succeeded in getting others

person to give their agreement forcibly, they will still maintain their original

ideas. If you try to make them cooperate with you thereafter, expect that it

is going to be difficult.

What should you do then? Try to make your idea attractive to the other

party so that they would be more willing to submit to it. You can do so by

first acknowledging the merits of their points and then outlining your merits.

Do not make a comparison that is based on just the negative aspects. You

will appear to be discrediting the other person; this is not good.

Be Patient And Try To Avoid Clashes

The professional persuader is never overeager; he always moves steadily

and carefully towards his goal, and avoids getting into situations that would

result in idea collisions. He is sensitive enough to watch out for emotional or

psychological taboos and avoids them at all costs.

How can you do this? First, do not take sides. Try to be open to all ideas that

are placed on the table and consider each one’s merits meticulously before

you move on to pursuing your selection. Actually, you don’t really need to

focus on one concept alone. When you study everything that’s suggested,

you will find that you can make appropriate changes and combine all their

positive aspects to arrive at something that is agreeable to everyone

involved.

The key to being effectively assertive is to keep an open mind. If you simply

stick to what is in your head and work endlessly at seeing it through in

100% state to the end, do not expect to enjoy the ride. You will lose

friendships, you will lose confidence, and you will lose the drive, eventually.

Assertiveness is good when used the right way, which is the professional and

balanced way. If you try to use your assertive skills to force people to your

side, there is no way you will truly succeed.



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Passive Assertive or Aggressive – What’s the Difference?

Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — @ 5:51 am December 17, 2009
assertiveness



We can define assertiveness by placing it on a continuum between passiveness and aggression and making a contrast with them.   Assertive behaviours reflect the sense of personal worth that the individual has for himself and for the other person.  When we are Assertive we are honouring and reflecting our core values in whatever situation we find ourselves.  We stand up of these values and defend them in a manner which is inarguable. 

Looking at the differences in behaviours and attitudes shows some very obvious differences.

Passive Behaviour:

People who typically behave in a passive or submissive manner are demonstrating a lack of respect for their own values, needs and rights.

Many passive people do not express their honest feelings, needs, values and concerns. They allow others to dictate to them, denying their rights and ignoring their needs.

The body language of the passive person is bowed and bent, submissive and non threatening.

Their speech is peppered with “Sorrys”

Aggressive Behaviour:

People who typically behave in an aggressive manner express their feelings, needs and ideas at the expense of others. They need to win arguments. They tend to overpower other people.

The body language of the Aggressive person is threatening , finger pointing, stand over.

Their speech can be loud abusive, rude and sarcastic

Assertive Behaviour:

People who typically behave in an assertive manner use methods of communication which enable them to maintain self-respect and gain satisfaction of needs without abusing or dominating others.  They stand up for their rights and express personal needs, values and concerns in direct and appropriate ways.

The language of the assertive person is riddled with “I talk” 

Eg “I hear what you say and I believe that…..”

“I recognise that you are upset, what do you need to have happen…?”

“I feel that the time is right to make this change”

“I am confident that when we have covered of the agenda items we will have an agreement”

The Aggressive style gets results in the short term, and breeds an atmosphere of “submission under duress”. In leadership styles this styles certainly has an impact , often delivering above budget results and leaving a beaten and demoralised staff behind to be inherited by the nest leader.

The cost to an organisation of this leadership stye is usually not felt whilst the leaders is in position, except perhaps in staff turnover statistics, it is usually felt in subsequent years, after the person has moved on.



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Passive Assertive or Aggressive – What’s the Difference?

Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — @ 6:16 am December 10, 2009
assertiveness



No matter what type of business we are involved in, our success is in part determined by how well we deal with people. We need to present ourselves as confident, decisive and assertive.

LET’S NOT OVERDO IT

Sometimes, however, our efforts to show our assertiveness cross the line. We end up coming across as rude, aggressive or downright belligerent.

Let’s clarify the major distinctions.

ASSERTIVENESS VS. AGGRESSIVENESS

In any situation where your rights or space are being violated, there are generally three options available to you. You can:

1) Be submissive, say nothing, and fume in silence.

2) Be aggressive and hostile, which will probably just fuel the fire.

3) Calmly and politely assert your interests.

Sometimes when we feel compelled to speak up, we can easily lose sight of the fact that we just want to stop the offensive behavior, period. We do not need to humiliate the other person, nor do we need to humiliate ourselves by overreacting.

This person may not even be aware of any wrongdoing. In any event, explosive, self-righteous behavior is never a good first line of defense.

CONFIDENT PEOPLE HAVE NO NEED OR DESIRE TO BELITTLE OTHERs

Assertiveness does not seek to humiliate or purposely embarrass anyone. The other party may well end up feeling a little embarrassed, but it won’t be laced with anger at you. It’s amazing how cooperative people can become when treated with respect. And it is equally amazing how swiftly and surely they will become uncooperative if they are being attacked in any way, even with a subtle gesture or an exasperated tone of voice.

HUMANS ALWAYS RESPOND MORE FAVORABLY TO KINDNESS

There’s an old saying, maybe a little corny, but it still holds true: “You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.”

This bit of common knowledge may not be as common as we think. Next time a situation arises, remember that you can choose to assert your interests calmly and politely without becoming angry or abusive.

Your kindness will likely be returned, and even if it’s not, your own sense of personal mastery and self-esteem will rise a notch.

You’ll find such good feelings to be habit-forming. Now there’s a habit worth having.



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Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — @ 5:46 am December 3, 2009
assertiveness



‘The most destructive element in human mind is fear.

Fear creates aggressiveness’

- Dorothy Simpson

Have you ever, if at all, tried to observe if you are an aggressive or assertive person? Despite the fact that man is naturally endowed with all it takes (and more) to undertake a self appraisal in order to make our individual and collective lives better, hardly do we consciously do this. Assertiveness is one of the basic features of leadership yet a lot of people in leadership positions are aggressive either deliberately or not. Do not get me wrong. You do not have to be at the helm of affairs in one big office to be a leader, but you are always at the helm of your own affairs and no one can take that away. So you too are a leader! Besides, it is natural that we find ourselves leading others at some point or the other. However, whether as a leader or follower, we all relate with others everyday.

In a world where might is right, it may seem appropriate to be aggressive in order to have our ways, but it is not always like that. Some managers, in a bid to assert authority, only succeed in intimidating subordinates, who in an attempt to repel the threat or seeming oppression, end up exhibiting unruly and unbecoming behaviours. But must we continue in such manner that neither gives us the desired peace of mind nor self respect, and infact shuts the door on real and sincere friendship and loyalty? No. This is especially so when there are simpler and better ways of doing these things. And who says adults cannot learn and change their ways? I am confident you will agree with me that every adult knows the difference and is sufficiently equipped to choose that which is right – being assertive.

Assertiveness is simply the ability to express yourself within the limits of your natural rights. Aggressiveness on the other hand, refers to a mode of communication and behavior where one expresses his feelings, needs, and rights without regard or respect for the needs and feelings of others. In some extreme situations, emotional or physical force is applied such that the rights of others do not see the light of day at all. This happens in our homes, between couples, in offices and even among friends. With an aggressive behaviour, the dignity of the other person tends to be trampled upon, distance is created, communication is hampered and relationships suffer. Having injured the ego of the other party, aggressive individuals experience a higher level of stress and this takes away the joy from their seeming triumph. Aggressiveness is an often regretted emotional outburst – only a little better than a physical illness. This is because aggressive individuals suffer a false sense of self righteousness, and a feeling so transient that such people after thinking through usually feel guilty. They thereafter burn inside and out of pride find no one to share the hurt with. This disposition pushes others away, causes them to lose respect for you and in some cases become angry, unfriendly and vengeful. It is possible to be aggressive without realizing it, especially when one is threatened. However, with a conscious effort at deep awareness, it is possible to always be in control of your reaction to any kind of stimuli.

Being assertive, according to Wellness Workbook ( Ryan and Travis), “basically means the ability to express your thoughts and feelings in a way that clearly states your needs and keeps the lines of communication open with the other”. It enables you to put your cards on the table without either hurting the ego of the other party or destroying the chances of future relationships. It earns you a sense of ease; you feel good about yourself, gain more self confidence and even the respect of your colleagues and friends. Being assertive keeps you emotionally balanced such that improves your decision making ability and possibly your chances of getting what you want from life. The learned will agree with me that aggressiveness is caused by some kind of fear; that which comes from ignorance about self and one’s environment, and induces self doubt and lack of confidence. From the understanding of self comes a better appreciation of your world and that around you. It also allows you to be in harmony with yourself and your environment, and rewards you with a sense of security such that you are immunized from feeling threatened in any situation, hence no reason to be aggressive. This self knowledge comes from ‘Emotional Intelligence’.

The concept of Emotional Intelligence is the result of various studies on the role of non cognitive factors in helping people to succeed at work and in life generally. Revolving around the importance of social and emotional abilities for personal success, it is defined as “a form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action ”(Salovey & Mayer). Emotional Intelligence deals with knowing when and how to express emotion as well as the ability to control it.  According to Salovey, there are five pillars of Emotional Intelligence. The first of these is Self Awareness by which it is meant recognizing a feeling as it happens. This ability is crucial to self understanding because the lack of it leaves one at the mercy of those feelings. Self knowledge provides the necessary tools to pilot one’s life more effectively. Management of Emotions comes next. This is the ability to control feelings and emotions such that response to stimuli at any point in time is appropriate. It relates to the ability to sooth oneself and overcome negative emotions. Its lack leads to feelings of distress and depression.

A good understanding and control of one’s feelings is a precursor for Self Motivation, which leads to self mastery and creativity. People who have this skill tend to be more highly productive and effective in whatever they undertake. Another pillar of emotional intelligence is the fundamental people skill – Empathy. Recognizing emotions in others attunes one to the subtle signals that indicate what others need or want. The last on the list is Relationship Management which in other words refers to managing emotions in others. This skill underpins popularity, leadership and interpersonal effectiveness. People who excel here are social stars.

LAST WORD

It is only expected that people will differ in their mastery of these principles but the brain is eternally pliable, always learning and growing. This means that shortcomings in emotional intelligence can always be improved and built upon. So which would you rather be? Aggressive or Assertive? Besides, studies have revealed that the most successful leaders in world history were warmer, more outgoing, emotionally expressive, dramatic and sociable. It surely pays to be assertive. So why not learn Emotional Intelligence now!

 

tundekamali.11.37/021007



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Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — @ 5:24 am November 26, 2009
assertiveness



Knowing how to be assertive in the workplace is a great advantage for you. After all, the big bosses won’t care about your attendance record or how well you make coffee. They’re more interested in, and are more likely to remember, employees who are determined and carry out their own ideas.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re at work or at a doughnut shop. Learning how to be assertive is the first step to achieving your bigger goals and ambitions.

It’s your ticket to success. However, there are a few key points you must remember and practice before you set out to take that step.

Being Assertive Is Not Being Aggressive.

Many people make the mistake of thinking these two concepts are the same. You know better than that. Being aggressive can backfire on you big time.

Your co-workers, and even your employers, might feel intimidated or turned off by your aggressiveness. You don’t want to scare them away, do you?

Be subtle. If you have an idea, pitch it in a “soft” way. But don’t overwhelm the whole office with it.

Assertiveness Rests on Self-Confidence.

You won’t ever get past the first step if you don’t even have self-confidence. Learning how to be assertive includes improving all your other skills.

Try talking to yourself in front of the mirror. If you can’t even do that, then how do you expect to convince your boss of your credibility? You might even have to work on your stance and observe your body language.

Practicing how to be assertive in the workplace gives you many benefits that extend beyond your 9-5 timetable. You can also use the skills you have honed when trying to socialize with other people. Just remember that moderation is key, and that you are capable of becoming a self-confident and assertive person.



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Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — @ 5:57 am November 19, 2009
assertiveness



I had just received the third pink slip in two weeks from the lab that said my payment was passed due. Over three times I had called and my insurance company had assured me that the lab work was covered and that they would mail out a check that afternoon. This time, when I finally got a representative on the telephone, I was polite but firm. I said that I wanted the problem taken care of immediately, and I wrote down her name and the supervisor’s name. It was time to get even more assertive.

Has assertiveness gotten a bad rap, however, among the chronically ill? Is it assumed that we won’t have the energy or stamina to fight all of the battles that we will face? When we do talk to someone in customer service, we are rarely taken absolutely seriously. After all, isn’t it just the drugs that make us impatient and nit-picky about all of this insurance stuff? Has anyone ever brushed off your assertiveness simply by assuming, “She doesn’t have anything else to think about all day, so no wonder she’s upset!”? Or “She’s just taking her frustrations out on me because she has a chronic illness.”

When you imagine an assertive person, what comes to mind? Webster’s Dictionary says that assertiveness is “positive; affirming confidently; affirmative.” Too often we confuse assertiveness with aggression which is defined as “making assaults and unjustly attacking.” Most of us have had moments when we have slid into an aggressive mode, but assertiveness is based on one’s ability to confidently step forward. Rather than becoming aggressive, I believe that the chronically ill often become burnt out on fighting and we simply avoid any conflict. Who has the energy to fight for our rights? Next time a situation arises where you may need to be a bit assertive, here are some things in which to remember.

[1] I have the right to say no without feeling guilty.

For those of us with chronic illness, this is a big one! We must say, “no, thanks,” or “I’ll pass,” much more often than we would prefer. Even when we master the ability to say no, the guilt continues to sit with us for days. Let it go! You know your abilities and limitations and what is best for your own health and your family’s well being.

[2] I have the right to state my opinion, even if I change my mind.

Have you ever been on a jury and you had to state your decision up-front, but than as the deliberations continued, you changed your mind about the verdict? You have the right to say what you think, but it’s best to think before you speak. Is what you say going to hurt someone’s feelings? Are your comments going to help the situation?

[3] I have the right to take risks and try new things.

Just because you have a chronic condition doesn’t mean you have to eat at the same restaurant the rest of your life. Try new things! You may find a new hobby or a new activity that you are able to easily do, in which you would have never thought about. “When I started taking photos it was on one of those cardboard cameras,” says Darcie. “But then I found that I really loved it and I wasn’t half bad. So I bought a real camera. It’s been fun. I’ve had an excuse to go to events that I couldn’t participate in before, like boat races, because I am ‘the photographer.’”

[4] I have the right to be heard.

Whether you are having a conversation with a medical professional or your mother, you do have the right to be heard. Too many of us fall into the habit of talking all of the time, however, and forgetting that we also have the responsibility to listen. Know your boundaries and what you are willing to listen to and not. When a man approached me after a health fair and said, “I can cure you in 30 days,” I replied, “You have sixty seconds to tell me why I should talk with you further about your product.” I listened… and no, he didn’t convince me. He felt okay about it though, and I got out of an uncomfortable thirty-minute sales pitch.

So be assertive—practice in front of the mirror if you must. As you step out and share your opinion, it may feel awkward at first, but then you will gain more confidence and it will become simpler the next time the opportunity arises. Even studies have shown that assertive people are more likely to have personal and professional relationships that are based on honesty and mutual respect.



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Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — @ 5:56 am November 12, 2009
assertiveness



Women will occasionally find themselves in heated arguments. Sometimes, people’s views and opinions will come in conflict and create drama. Every now and then these conversations can lead to more difficult situations. Knowing how to be assertive in a nice way can prevent an argument from blowing up and may even help one win an argument.

Learning how to be an assertive woman consists of two things: one is the tendency towards a positive attitude, and the other is audacity. Assertiveness means that you possess a kind of boldness; the boldness to let your views and opinions be heard.

At the root of audacity is the confidence that your views and opinions are true. Having confidence in your beliefs causes you to have the boldness to disclose or pass on to others what you have to say. And, conversely, you will have the courage to defend and stand up for your views against people who may disagree of feel differently than you do.

An assertive woman’s assertiveness is also joined by a positive outlook. She speaks with an attitude that is positive despite a subject that may be about things that are negative. The reason for this is because a person who has a negative attitude runs the risk of loosing his or her composure and possibly saying things that could either be regretted later, or not support the argument’s merits. Be sure to think carefully about the words you use and don’t just ramble on. More words is not a sign of assertiveness. It will not help you win the person you are speaking with and may be considered rude.

An assertive person is not one who tries to find the balance between passivity and aggressiveness; but is a different idea all together. It simply means that when you are in an argument, that you will not be bullied to compromise your beliefs or values. It means that you will stand your ground. It is conveying every thought and every word with grace and elegance in order to expose the truth that you hold. This means there is no need to belittle or insult, but, because you have the power of truth on your side, grace, elegance, and poise are yours to wield.

Be sure you have thought through your facts. Be able to back up the things you want to say. Know in advance, if possible, the counter arguments that might come and be prepared to answer them. Look at it is from the point of view of the other person. Step into their shoes and try to understand why they are taking the position that they are. This can allow you to see flaws in the other person’s argument, or, possibly, cause you to change your own opinion if that is what the truth dictates.

Learning how to be an assertive woman is the skill of learning to convey the truth. The truth brings with it confidence. Assertive confidence has nothing to do with changing the mind of your opponent, but has everything to do with ensuring that your opinions, beliefs, and feelings are heard. This is assertiveness.



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Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — @ 6:06 am October 29, 2009
assertiveness



Even the best of us has one of those days – or a memory of one of those days when we dread going to work – not because we don’t want to work, but because the sheer thought of having to deal with one personality is enough to exhaust and drain us of energy.

Yep, the bully you were scared of back in your childhood days seems to have grown up, too. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to have changed. And now they haunt your working days just as badly as they haunted your school days.

Assertive Behaviour in the face of the Workplace Bully

Successfully dealing with the workplace bully sometimes leads to the intervention of the company or organization’s personnel and human resources department. Also sometimes it can be more effectively dealt with, on a more personal level. It makes sense that if you report negative bullying attitude to the appropriate higher-ups, you have the help and support of company policies on inter-office management.

Human relationships being what it is might likely get adverse reactions from the rest of your workmates for being a “snitch.” Now this may be an unjustified observation, but it can happen. And because it is so probable, you might want to consider that perhaps the best way of dealing with the conflicts surrounding you is by learning to assert your rights on your own.

Assertiveness is a learned skill

Being assertive means that you stand up for your rights even in the face of what are controlling or manipulative behaviors from others.

Being assertive also means that you are can freely and honestly express your opinions and feelings about a particular situation without the fear of reprisals or being punished because of such honesty.

The important thing to remember is that assertiveness is a learned skill. Thus, if you lack assertiveness, you can and probably should learn it. You’ll find that each assertive act only serves to reinforce your assertive “muscles,” so to speak.

The backbone of good assertive behavior is your own appreciation of your personal rights. These are rights which others should also respect. Thus:

- You have the right to say “no” when somebody asks you to do something which you are either not responsible for, or something that you judge is asking too much from you

- You are not responsible for other people’s problems and it is not your duty to solve them

- You have the right to express your disagreement or difference of opinion from others without being punished for such self-expression

In many ways, a good grasp and understanding of your own rights, and the rights of others is a fine starting point for a confident expression of those rights. You express these rights in how you deal with others and in how you express yourself, especially in how you act in conflict situations. Just be mindful in your manner of self-expression and see that you don’t cross the line into aggressive behavior instead.

The consistent application of assertive behavior can be a rewarding experience in itself. Not only will you be able to breathe easier after having been able to express your own opinions and feelings, but you might find that most people actually appreciate you better for knowing how to draw healthy boundaries in your working relationships with them.



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Persuasion Tactics in a Person-to-person Setting

Filed under: Assertiveness — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 4:22 pm October 19, 2009

Persuasion is easier to apply during a conversation between two people, as opposed to communicating in front of a group. This is because in a person-to-person setting, the opportunity to better understand the point of view of the other party exists. You can nitpick and delve into every single detail, as opposed to speaking to an audience, where the interaction is usually one sided.
In this kind of setting, it is possible for you and the other person to reach a compromise that would bring the best probable value for both of you. You may even want to change your stance while you’re at it. In short, person-to-person conversations are so open and flexible that it allows not just you to change course, but also allow you to alter another person’s mindset.
How do you get the most out of person-to-person interactions?
Have Patience
Persuasion may not happen on your first try – or even the second, the third, or the fourth. There are times that a certain idea has to be pondered on and assessed more deeply and critically, that to be too aggressive in getting acceptance might only ruin chances of a good deal. We’ve been through this situation before. How many times have we been told, “If you try to push me one more time, I will have to turn you down”?
Effective persuasion requires skill, not annoying pushiness. If you are sensitive enough to know the symptoms of agreement or submission, you will be able to steer the conversation to a point where you have the opportunity to persuade. If the other party doesn’t seem to be leaning toward your idea and his or her body language shows it, then you should know better to try at another time instead.
Stop Yourself From Rebutting Too Much
One of the greatest mistakes of persuasiveness is your penchant to answer back and rebut. We often try to pretend to listen to another person’s idea, which we do not really agree to, when in fact, what we are doing is preparing for a rebuttal to his or her statements. No matter how discreet you try to be at this, the other party will eventually notice that you are zoned out and will do the same to you when it’s your turn to give your ideas.
What ensues is a discussion that has two levels: one that is verbal and obvious, and one that is based on underlying meanings and subliminal banter. You may be able to prove your point and so will the other person, but nobody really wins.
Nobody can successfully persuade if the conversation is just based on a subliminal battle. When you’re trying to sell something, this will be your deal killer. In a friendship, this is what will burn bridges. This habit is very undesirable. Try to stop yourself every time you feel inclined to do so.
To effectively persuade another person, you have to truly believe in what you are saying. Intellectual honesty and genuine concern for other people will give you that persuasive edge. If you don’t feel passionate enough, the other party will notice it and will not be convinced. It’s not likely that you will be able to successfully sell an idea you have feel no passion about.
In addition, you can’t be effective at persuasion if you are not open to being persuaded also. Remember, you’re not the only one who is trying to get your point heard. In a person-to-person setting, the other party is also seeking to win you over to his or her side.
In order to persuade, you must be sincere. Aside from that, you also need to effectively communicate your emotions and thoughts. You can do this not just by saying the right things, but also by employing the proper assertive behavior and body language. Thus, if you want to improve your persuasion skills, don’t be a drag. Be open-minded and show it.

How To Craft A Killer Complaint Letter

Filed under: Assertiveness — Tags: , , , , , — admin @ 4:29 am

Each year, hundreds of millions of people jot a letter of complaint. Since you are one of the crowd, you’ll want your letter to gain attention. Place yourself in the position of the person getting your letter and recall that your goal is not to vengeance or to vent your righteous anger, but to get win-win results.
The best way to get a desired outcome is to make your letter concise, factual, and reasonable. Oh and yes- rib-tickling humor doesn’t hurt either. Write a letter of complaint about:
1. collection/financial/ordering errors
2. kids and/or pets: misbehavior/damage by
3. neighborhood problems: unkempt property/ loud noises/disturbance
4. holdup: late reply/shipment/refund/merchandise/supplies/ payment
5. staff: incompetent/rude/inappropriate behavior
6. governmental problems: high taxes/unfair laws/pending bills
7. goods: defective/damaged/dangerous/missing parts, instructions, or warranties
8. blunder, misunderstandings, personal errors
9. policies: unfavorable/restrictive/discriminatory
10. institutional: undeserved reprimands/undesirable programs
11. alleged fraud, misleading advertising, unfair practices, discrimination
Let’s get down to the nitty gritty on powerful letters of complaints
1. Assert the problem plainly, concisely, and reasonably: what it is, when you observed it, how it has hassled you, what you have done, and what needs to be prepared to correct it.
2. Provide all vital facts: date and place of acquisition, sales slip number, thorough account of product or service, serial or model number, amount paid, name of clerk who performed the service or sold you the item/gave you the wrong information, your account number or credit card number, account of previous communication.
3. Present inclusive and accurate names and addresses, both your own and the person to whom you are writing. Also incorporate your home and work phone numbers.
4. Incorporate appropriate documentation such as sales slips, warranties or guarantees, previous communication, copies of pictures of damaged item, repair or service orders, canceled checks, contracts, paid invoices.
5. Inform why you think it’s key that the complaint be taken care of and affirm plainly what you require from the person or company. Demand a reasonable, possible resolution.
6. Propose a deadline for the action demanded.
7. Should your complaint involve an incident with an impudent sales clerk, another driver, a cantankerous or intimidating stranger, include the date and time of the incident, the name of person involved, where it occurred, names of witnesses, and any other noteworthy particulars.
9. In finishing, articulate your assurance that the matter will be taken care of to your satisfaction.
10. Shun derision, finger pointing, abuse, recriminations, blaming, crass remarks, and emotional outbursts. You will only provoke the very person who is in the best position to help you. Off-putting letters are not only futile, they also make you look silly.
11. Never threaten to sue. Blustering is generally recognized as a bluff; people who are really going to sue leave this declaration to their lawyer. You might say that you will elevate the case to small claims court. This is one probable way of achieving a swift, inexpensive resolution.
12. Never hint for freebies or “compensation” beyond your dues.

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