Assertiveness

Business Leaders: Secrets of Personality Profiling!

Have you ever had a discussion with a client, employee or vendor that just didn’t click? Would you like to know how to communicate with people in business and in your personal life, regardless of how different their personality is?

A few years ago, I was introduced to the subject of personality profiling. By understanding the four different personality types, you can significantly increase understanding of board members, employees, and even your family. You will

experience amazing results. The personality profiling system is called DISC testing.

The letters DISC stand for the four prominent personality types. All people fit into this scheme in one way or another, and are usually a combination of a least two of these types. These types are as follows:

High D stands for dominating.

High I stands for influencer.

High S stands for steadiness.

High C stands for compliance.

Let’s first take a look at how to use DISC testing to develop a team, and then study how to use this system to communicate more effectively with prospects and clients to really enhance your abilities in any endeavor.

Most property managers and some company or board presidents will find that they fit into the High D category. If you are a High D, you’ll be the driving force in your company. You are the leader. You are the quarterback of the team. You are innovative and organized. You want quick results. You want everything abbreviated, because you have the ability to quickly assess a situation and make a rapid decision.

Although all these are outstanding qualities, you, (High D’s) have to remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Just because something has been discussed, it doesn’t mean that the task is immediately accomplished by waving a magic wand. You need to learn to be more patient and to listen more often. Most importantly, you need to realize that the rest of the people in your world are trying frantically to keep up the rapid pace you have set for yourself.

If you are just a bit friendlier, and make an effort to compliment your staff on a job well done, it will go a long way in gaining their trust. They will then feel more comfortable in approaching you with new ideas, or with problems they may have

Let’s take a look at high I. The high I personality, or the influencer, is a very social person. I find that many great sales people fall into this category. They are the master net-workers. They are charming and upbeat, with loads of team spirit, and are instinctively great communicators. This is the type of person who is motivated by popularity and acceptance.

Give the high I on your team lots of interaction with clients and prospects in order to fulfill their social needs. They need to be able to interact and socialize—this is very important to them.

The High I typically lacks organizational skills, and will need help from the high D on your team in this area. They will also motivate others towards the common goal.

They are the cheerleaders on the team. They are the people who work the room at a cocktail party, and often walk out with fifteen to twenty business cards. These are the people who are at various events at CAI, MHA, Twin West, etc.

Let’s examine the high S. The high S person is noted for loyalty. These are the team players. These are the people who have an amazing ability to add a personal touch that sets the team apart from their competition.

As long as the High S has a clear understanding of the business model, they will carry it out with extreme devotion, because they crave a stable environment to work in.

They are characterized by their ability to maintain deeply loyal relationships, because they are motivated by safety, security, and recognition of that loyalty

However, if the high S has a disagreement with others on the team, watch out! They will be inclined to hold it inside, since they don’t like conflict or sudden change.

To complete our tour of the four personality types, let’s look at the high C. High C personalities are the analytical problem solvers of the world. They border on being compulsively meticulous. I’m sure you have most likely had clients along these lines.

High C’s have the ability to offer creative solutions to complex problems, because they deal well with facts and calculations. This is your classic engineer. At the same time, they are inclined to focus so much on the hard data that they omit the human factor. They can over think the situation, and quite literally make a mountain out of a molehill. When you need a solution that requires close attention to detail, the high C will strive for perfection, and will set an excellent example for the team to follow.

You may find that their attention to detail slows things down too much. This is especially true if you are a high D. The high C likes to work at a snail’s pace, while the high D is running 100 miles per hour. C’s are the folks you dread in the homeowner association; because they are nit-picking every single detail and they cause you lots of headaches.

By testing yourself and your team members, you can gain insight into why certain people click, and how to approach each other with the most favorable outcome in mind.

I have provided you with a cursory DISC test. This test will enable you to assess someone in an initial conversation. This is not a supplement to a DISC test—the full test is in excess of 100 questions. However, there is a way to be relatively sure of someone’s personality profile by just asking yourself a couple of questions:

Question #1: Is this person more assertive, or more reserved?

Question #2: Is the person more logical, or more emotional? This question may take a few more seconds of conversation for you to answer, since it is a bit more difficult to determine the answer.

Let’s imagine that a new prospect named “Tom” calls to talk with you about the possibility of hiring your property management company. During the conversation, you ask yourself the first question about Tom, “Is he assertive or reserved?”

You notice that he asks lots of questions, and is very forthcoming with information about what his wants, needs, and concerns are. You don’t have to draw information out of him because he is telling you what he wants. You notice that he’s taken control of the situation, and you are having a tough time getting a word in. This means he is assertive.

Since a D and an I are assertive, you’ve determined that Tom is either a high D or a high I, and you are now working within the top half of the quadrant only. An S or a C would be much more reserved.

You then ask yourself, “Is Tom more emotional or more logical?”

He often uses the phrase, “I think.” (instead of “I feel”) He takes time to evaluate his options and to crunch numbers. This leads you to believe that Tom is a logical thinker. The two logical thinkers are high D and high C. However, since you’ve already eliminated high C by asking the first question, we’ve identified Tom as a high D.

Once you’ve established a prospect’s personality type, you have a better understanding of how they process information. This understanding is key to communications.

Let’s continue with Tom. You’ve figured out that he is a high D. You can know put to use your knowledge of the high D personality type. You know they don’t want to take too much time out of their busy day to speak with you. They want things to happen quickly, and they are fast decision-makers. You need to be brief, to the point, and as efficient as possible.

On the contrary, if you have a high I, things are different. On the grid, we have an assertive person who is emotional. With a high I, you want to take some time to ask about their personal interests. You want to ask what they did last weekend, and about their family. Get social, because they relate to that. When you have future appointments with them, be sure to schedule extra time to accommodate their need to chitchat for an extra ten minutes. These touches aren’t to manipulate a person, but to honor them by communicating in their preferred fashion, even if they aren’t aware of what that is.

Let’s say you’ve determined that this person is a high S. Now we are looking at the bottom-right corner of the grid, which represents reserved and emotional. You need to win the trust of a high S. They are loyal team players. If you can make them feel a part of the team, they will champion your cause to the degree that they will be an additional sales rep out in the field.

Don’t be too aggressive when you speak with a high S, because they need to absorb information at their own pace. You must provide them with solutions that speak to their needs of security and stability. They are very family-oriented.

The final personality type you might run into is the high C. Quite frankly. C’s can be the most difficult people to work with. (Except my wife, who is perfect in every way.) They are very logical and very reserved. They are going to be low-key, and have a long thought process. A high C doesn’t want to listen to a fast-talking person. Deliver information at a slow pace, and deliver facts only. They don’t operate on emotion. These people do very well with spreadsheets.

When receiving a referral from someone familiar with DISC, I might hear: “This person is a high C.” I immediately know that this person will need time to determine whether to work with me, and that they will want to see the numbers in detail. They will also ask lots of specific and detailed questions that I’ll need to be prepared to answer.

In conclusion, working with members of your extended team in utilizing this process is very helpful. The best part about this is that the client wins. They are being treated in the way that works best for them.

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This article written by Steve Hoogenakker of Taylor Made Landscape. Steve has 20 years in leadership and management. He can be reached at Steve@Landscape.Pro.

Each year, hundreds of millions of people jot a letter of complaint. Since you are one of the crowd, you’ll want your letter to gain attention. Place yourself in the position of the person getting your letter and recall that your goal is not to vengeance or to vent your righteous anger, but to get win-win results.
The best way to get a desired outcome is to make your letter concise, factual, and reasonable. Oh and yes- rib-tickling humor doesn’t hurt either. Write a letter of complaint about:
1. collection/financial/ordering errors
2. kids and/or pets: misbehavior/damage by
3. neighborhood problems: unkempt property/ loud noises/disturbance
4. holdup: late reply/shipment/refund/merchandise/supplies/ payment
5. staff: incompetent/rude/inappropriate behavior
6. governmental problems: high taxes/unfair laws/pending bills
7. goods: defective/damaged/dangerous/missing parts, instructions, or warranties
8. blunder, misunderstandings, personal errors
9. policies: unfavorable/restrictive/discriminatory
10. institutional: undeserved reprimands/undesirable programs
11. alleged fraud, misleading advertising, unfair practices, discrimination
Let’s get down to the nitty gritty on powerful letters of complaints
1. Assert the problem plainly, concisely, and reasonably: what it is, when you observed it, how it has hassled you, what you have done, and what needs to be prepared to correct it.
2. Provide all vital facts: date and place of acquisition, sales slip number, thorough account of product or service, serial or model number, amount paid, name of clerk who performed the service or sold you the item/gave you the wrong information, your account number or credit card number, account of previous communication.
3. Present inclusive and accurate names and addresses, both your own and the person to whom you are writing. Also incorporate your home and work phone numbers.
4. Incorporate appropriate documentation such as sales slips, warranties or guarantees, previous communication, copies of pictures of damaged item, repair or service orders, canceled checks, contracts, paid invoices.
5. Inform why you think it’s key that the complaint be taken care of and affirm plainly what you require from the person or company. Demand a reasonable, possible resolution.
6. Propose a deadline for the action demanded.
7. Should your complaint involve an incident with an impudent sales clerk, another driver, a cantankerous or intimidating stranger, include the date and time of the incident, the name of person involved, where it occurred, names of witnesses, and any other noteworthy particulars.
9. In finishing, articulate your assurance that the matter will be taken care of to your satisfaction.
10. Shun derision, finger pointing, abuse, recriminations, blaming, crass remarks, and emotional outbursts. You will only provoke the very person who is in the best position to help you. Off-putting letters are not only futile, they also make you look silly.
11. Never threaten to sue. Blustering is generally recognized as a bluff; people who are really going to sue leave this declaration to their lawyer. You might say that you will elevate the case to small claims court. This is one probable way of achieving a swift, inexpensive resolution.
12. Never hint for freebies or “compensation” beyond your dues.

It is tough having to deal with someone who abuses you. Moreover, it is more difficult to deal with, and manage a person, like a boss or supervisor, that has authoritative power over you. Someone that is in a position like your boss can trick you into a destructive way of behaving where you undermine your wellbeing from fear of repercussions when you address the issue.If the verbal and other forms of mental abuse begin to get really serious and even approach physical abuse, the issue can become a legal concern. I have heard that people are trying to pass legislation in an American state that disallows workplace abuse. However, unfortunately nearly all laws do not take into account verbal workplace conflict so you have got to learn how to handle bullies by yourself for your own happiness and wellbeing.Most people who lack the communication skills to deal with a bad boss either:

First Common Reaction: Endure the BullyingThis reaction to a bullying boss is a passive response. You forgo your own person needs while your boss tramples over you. The absolute last thing you want to do when being abused by anyone is accept the abuse.You must address the issue in the correct manner otherwise your confidence, happiness, and in this situation, your work will suffer. People who receive aggressive behavior that is not correctly handled have been known to develop serious health problems such as strokes, heart attacks, suicide, migraines, escalated stress levels, insomnia, and terrifying nightmares. One person who will remain anonymous often dreamed her boss pointing a gun at employees so they would complete their work.The most common reason for accepting intimidation from others is the fear of repercussions if you stick up for yourself. In a work situation, and especially with someone who has authoritative power, you probably do not defend yourself in fear of losing your job. This fear I believe is real because when most people stick up for themselves, they do so in an aggressive manner causing negative results (which you’ll soon see more about below).These passive people forgo their own needs and get dominated by others. They live in massive amounts of frustration as their anger is bottled inside of themselves. They do not have the effective communication skills to address the problem as they think they must accept what happens and live with the intimidation hoping the abusive person stops bullying. The end result is a win for the bully and a loss for the passive person.Second Common Reaction: Bully the BullyThe second common reaction to facing a bully is aggression. People who respond aggressively are willing to defend themselves and usually have more confidence than those who respond passively. They often see that in order to get what they want, they must retaliate. It becomes fire against fire. A fight starts as the two individuals take to a verbal boxing ring mentally beating out each other’s minds.People may become aggressive for several reasons:

While aggression in the workplace may create the necessary level of productivity, it is strongly related to a high turnover rate, said to be an average of 1.5 years, and other commitment problems. Employees fake sick days, become miserable, sabotage their own work, and lose passion for their work. It can create unproductive employees as they “hide” by staying under the radar, seeking to comply, while do nothing that stands out that could potentially bring them attention. The aggressive communication being exchanged between two people becomes a loss for both individuals.A Third Rare Action: Assertive Communication with the BossThe first common reaction was a passive response. The second common reaction was an aggressive response. There is a response between these two common reactions known as “assertiveness” which produces a win-win response. Assertiveness is the secret you need to face an abusive boss.Depending on the situation, occasional aggressive behavior can be definitely welcomed. In order for the aggressive behavior to be successful it must be expressed appropriately and constructively. You could even say this constructive type of aggression is like assertive communication because the end-result is a win for each party.Where passive communication fails to respect yourself and aggressive communication fails to respect the other person, assertive communication respects both individuals. There are several assertive communication techniques you can use to stop the bullying, stop your fear, build your self-confidence, and create a nice working relationship with your boss. This is the power of assertive skills. Below I’ll share some techniques with you that are useful for the specific situation of facing an aggressive boss.

Those that subscribe to an aggressive style to produce results may well deliver the goods in the short term. However, over the long term, team members will feel disrespected, become demoralized and look for opportunities outside the organisation. The longer term outcome is a steady decline in results as attrition rates climb, which also affects members of related departments as they see their colleagues being victims of aggressive or bullying behaviour. Such behaviour is a common career derailer, particularly for those in senior positions or those who are highly ambitious.
At the other end of the spectrum are passive managers. Managers who fail to assert themselves have a similar, negative impact on morale and productivity. Passive managers can be indecisive, poor mentors, uninspiring and equally as damaging as Mr. Aggressive. Team members working for a passive manager may find it hard to gain support for their ideas and initiatives, be uncertain about where their focus should be and concerned about the ability of their manager to represent their needs and concerns at senior level.
Assertive managers are able to lead, direct and motivate without the need to bang the table, play the dictator or criticize their direct reports. Some managers however, hesitate to embrace assertiveness because they mistakenly equate it to aggressive behaviour. Assertiveness and aggression are two entirely different things. Whilst aggression is emotional and counter-productive, assertiveness is all about clarity of communication and intent. An assertive statement or request has five key elements:
1/ It is not open to misinterpretation.
2/ There is absolute clarity of what the speaker requires from the listener.
3/ It is free of negative or aggressive emotion.
4/ Body language is congruent with the spoken words.
5/ Words used and body language show respect to the receiver.
As well as enabling a manager to give clear, unequivocal direction and leadership, assertiveness has an important role to play in giving positive motivational messages to team members. Compare the following two statements:
“Jim, well done on the ABC company project”.
“Jim, I’m really impressed with the way you concluded the ABC project. Your powers of diplomacy at senior level with the customer where exemplary. Well done”.
Which one will have the greater impact on Jim? The first statement is congratulatory but is more of a throw away comment. It is praise and therefore somewhat motivational, but look at the power of the second statement. It conveys a greater level of appreciation but more than that, also points out a particular skill that Jim has demonstrated. Does Jim know exactly what he excelled at by the second statement? What skill is Jim going to focus on developing further? How much confidence will he have in his powers of diplomacy the next time he is put in critical situation with a customer? This is an example of the positive, motivational power of assertive communication.
On the other side of the coin, managers sometimes need to correct team members’ errors or tackle poor performance. Assertive communication is key in giving constructive feedback to improve performance and provide direction. Consider the two following statements:
“Bob, that report you produced was just a load of waffle. It’s no use to me. Do it again”.
“Bob, the report you produced needs more facts and statistics to be impactful. I would like you to redo it split into three chapters, history of the business to date, current situation and projections up to 2008. Include graphs of revenue and profit in each chapter. I need it to be completed by next Friday. I hope everything is clear but if not, please let me know?”
The first statement merely tells Bob he’s done a bad job and has not met expectations. It tells him nothing about what needs to be done to correct his error. The second statement points out exactly what has gone wrong, what needs to be done and how to put things right. Which statement is the more respectful towards Bob? Which statement is going to help Bob with report writing in the future?
Another situation where assertiveness is essential is the ability to say “no” to requests from colleagues. A frequent complaint from my clients is that they are constantly interrupted by people wandering into their office and wanting time to discuss an issue there and then. Typically they react in one of two ways. One is to say, in an impatient tone of voice, “I’m sorry I’m up to my eyes here. No time. It will have to wait”. [Aggressive]. The other approach is to say, “OK. What’s the problem?” [Passive] In the first instance the person wanting attention goes away feeling that they are unimportant and somewhat offended by the unconditional rejection. In the second, the manager relents and is diverted from the task they were focused on, ending up with impromptu discussions that steal time from priority work.
The assertive manager handles interruptions by saying, “I have some priority tasks I need to deal with right now and I should be finished by lunchtime. If you come back at 2pm we’ll shut the door and you’ll have my full attention. Is that OK?” The assertive response shuts down the interruption but at the same time shows respect for the individual and the issue they want to discuss. Of course, the response that comes back might be, “But it will only take a minute.” The assertive repost is to restate the initial invitation to come back at 2pm making sure that tone and expression match the positive intention of the words.
Body language is also an important component of assertiveness. As any seminar on communication skills will tell you, 70%+ of what people receive from our messages is through body language. In assertive communication both verbal and body language must match to be effective. Keep in mind the following when it comes to assertive body language:

•Friendly facial expression to show respect to the listener. [But be careful not to smile widely when dealing with a serious situation.]
•Maintain eye contact to show that you are actively listening to the other person.
•Adopt a relaxed but upright stance when making your assertive statement.
•Keep your hands in an open position, arms not crossed nor hands clasped in front of you conveying a defensive or apologetic signal.
Whether you are communicating up the hierarchy, downwards or with peers in the organisation, assertiveness in appropriate situations will win you friends and supporters. With practice and when used wisely, assertive behaviour can motivate, reduce communication errors, save time and make for a happier and more productive working environment.