Assertiveness

Impact on Performance – The Psychological Transformation

The psychological transformation through mental skills training and its impact on your performance can hit you like a thunderbolt, and that’s not an exaggeration!

The psychological transformation is actually a gradual process, and its full effect will be evident in a few weeks or at best a couple of months.

Let’s look at just a few areas of your game where you will start seeing quick results”

These are just a few ways in which your mental processes are transformed to positively impact your performance.

Goal-directed transformation:

To get the best out of mental skills training, you have to first know what you want from it:

Any training program works much better if it is goal directed.

Reaching the ideal state:

When you go through a transformation, you sometimes reach an “ideal performance state:” This is a mental state where all aspects of your mental skills training come together, and you deliver a superior performance. This may not happen in every match, but it is the endeavor of every grappler and combat athlete to get into this ideal state, and mental preparation is the vehicle that can take you there.

Ideal Performance State – The Zone/Flow II

The ideal performance state is referred to as the zone or flow in sports parlance. The zone or flow is the pinnacle of sporting achievement, when an athlete plays in an effortless manner and yet delivers a top quality faultless performance. Those who have been in that state, call it a magical state where performance is exceptional, spontaneous, automatic, and flowing. An athlete is able to concentrate completely and does not feel any pressure. He or she is sure of his game and technique and goes about executing with precision and timing. The body and mind work in tandem and perform like a well-oiled machine; the only thing is that the grappler is anything but a machine. In the zone, grapplers or combat athletes are cool, collected, and extremely shrewd in their moves and tactics, not machine-like.

Flow, control, effortless moves and countermoves, complete confidence-the match moves smoothly in your favor almost throughout from start to finish.

How do you get into the zone? Three key factors make this happen:

The mental framework of a person in the zone:

Finer aspects of being in the flow:

The experience of being the zone during a match can be a wonderful one, and its magic can be felt by you from the start to the finish of the encounter.

To achieve success, your mind and your body have to work in tandem and your mind has to be free of any negativity. A grappler or combat athlete can achieve peak performances on a more consistent basis by reaching the zone or flow through regular mental preparation and complete focus.

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What are you? A leader or a follower?We can all become leaders and also followers. Both are important but the leader sets the good example for his/her followers. A good leader has a good follower.If you think you are not a good leader, maybe you should have a self-improvement seminar.Self-improvement seminar for leaders is training them to be good to the followers.There are a variety of self-improvement seminar for you. But leadership training seminar is the best for you. In order to be a great leader, one must possess various qualities that will attract followers. The following qualities are just of few of the many qualities that are vital for effective leadership:1. Charisma- charismatic leaders have the gift to touch people through their choice of words. Charismatic leaders are alluring, charming and can encourage followers to support a grand vision or idea. 2. Positive Attitude – A leader who has a positive attitude will influence his/her followers to carry that same attitude. A good example of a leader with a positive attitude could be a parent or teacher. Mothers, fathers, or elementary teachers appear and are viewed as role models to the young children they are teaching and nurturing. These role models are the first leaders they encounter in life. Children become very dependent of leaders because they are their vehicles to the outside world and provide much needed help and assistance. If a parent is nurturing and loving to their child, they will thrive under this encouragement. If a school teacher provides a positive learning experience to the child, they will succeed and that success will become contagious… In any circumstance, a leader’s positive attitude will have greater impact and influence on their followers. 3. Motivation – In an athletic world, a motivating leader could be a coach, trainer or even a fellow teammate. While the talent of players is a good determinant of a winning team, their coach is also an important factor. If a coach can not produce a winning team, his job is at stake. A coach’s motivation involves infusing his players with high standards, and setting challenging but attainable goals as they perform well. Thus, his/her ability to motivate his players will enhance their performances.Motivation also correlates with having a positive attitude. When a coach has a positive attitude and provides a positive environment for his players, then the team will most likely be motivated to move in his/her direction where ultimate success can be found. 4. Assertiveness – A leader has the responsibility to guide the direction of his or her company. When a leader is firm and assertive in delegating tasks to his subordinates, they will hold a greater respect to follow through on their assignments. An assertive leader has the ability to convey enforcement without being too autocratic or threatening to their subordinates. Furthermore, an assertive leader should not make his subordinates feel like they’re in a hostile environment. Instead, an assertive leader should respect his people, and require proper accountability at the same time. A leader’s assertiveness and confidence earns respect. With that respect, people are much more likely to follow, help, and emulate their leader to achieve success. Self-improvement is important for leaders. Attending self-improvement seminars may be a good help in being a good leader.

What are you? A leader or a follower?We can all become leaders and also followers. Both are important but the leader sets the good example for his/her followers. A good leader has a good follower.If you think you are not a good leader, maybe you should have a self-improvement seminar.Self-improvement seminar for leaders is training them to be good to the followers.There are a variety of self-improvement seminar for you. But leadership training seminar is the best for you. In order to be a great leader, one must possess various qualities that will attract followers. The following qualities are just of few of the many qualities that are vital for effective leadership:1. Charisma- charismatic leaders have the gift to touch people through their choice of words. Charismatic leaders are alluring, charming and can encourage followers to support a grand vision or idea. 2. Positive Attitude – A leader who has a positive attitude will influence his/her followers to carry that same attitude. A good example of a leader with a positive attitude could be a parent or teacher. Mothers, fathers, or elementary teachers appear and are viewed as role models to the young children they are teaching and nurturing. These role models are the first leaders they encounter in life. Children become very dependent of leaders because they are their vehicles to the outside world and provide much needed help and assistance. If a parent is nurturing and loving to their child, they will thrive under this encouragement. If a school teacher provides a positive learning experience to the child, they will succeed and that success will become contagious… In any circumstance, a leader’s positive attitude will have greater impact and influence on their followers. 3. Motivation – In an athletic world, a motivating leader could be a coach, trainer or even a fellow teammate. While the talent of players is a good determinant of a winning team, their coach is also an important factor. If a coach can not produce a winning team, his job is at stake. A coach’s motivation involves infusing his players with high standards, and setting challenging but attainable goals as they perform well. Thus, his/her ability to motivate his players will enhance their performances.Motivation also correlates with having a positive attitude. When a coach has a positive attitude and provides a positive environment for his players, then the team will most likely be motivated to move in his/her direction where ultimate success can be found. 4. Assertiveness – A leader has the responsibility to guide the direction of his or her company. When a leader is firm and assertive in delegating tasks to his subordinates, they will hold a greater respect to follow through on their assignments. An assertive leader has the ability to convey enforcement without being too autocratic or threatening to their subordinates. Furthermore, an assertive leader should not make his subordinates feel like they’re in a hostile environment. Instead, an assertive leader should respect his people, and require proper accountability at the same time. A leader’s assertiveness and confidence earns respect. With that respect, people are much more likely to follow, help, and emulate their leader to achieve success. Self-improvement is important for leaders. Attending self-improvement seminars may be a good help in being a good leader.

The key to success is learning how to understand four the different communication styles. The main reason for conflicts with our family, friends, colleagues, and our team members in a home-based business is a “lack of communication”. Effective communication skills are essential in our lives and in the home-business industry. More often than not, the problem is a result of a communication breakdown and it is as though each individual is actually speaking their own “unique language”. In this digitally inter-connected world, you’d think we could “fix” such basic differences. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as plugging another device into the system. Maybe they’re the problem or maybe you are. We all know difficult people – and, in fact, we can all be the difficult person.A little background on communication styles, as a key to success, can help us understand the issues and learn how to alter our approach and eventually make life a little easier for both parties.Learning how to communicate effectively is a key to success and will help us reach financial success. Every time we speak, we choose and use one of four basic communication styles. It is important to learn that only one of them is effective and is the only one as the key to success. 1. Assertive 2. Aggressive 3. Passive 4. Passive-aggressive.Assertive CommunicationThe assertive communication style is the most effective and the healthiest form of communication. It’s how we naturally express ourselves when our self-esteem is intact; giving us the confidence to communicate without games or manipulation.When we are being assertive, we work hard to create mutually satisfying solutions and we communicate our needs clearly and forthrightly. We care about the relationship and strive for a “win/win” situation. We know our limits and refuse to be pushed beyond them just because someone else wants or needs something from us.Assertive communication is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest, and direct way. It recognizes our rights while still respecting the rights of others. It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people. It is a key to success and it allows us to constructively confront and find a mutually satisfying solution where conflict exists. Surprisingly, this assertive is the style most people use LEAST! Isn’t this amazing? Aggressive CommunicationAggressive communication always involves manipulation. We may attempt to make people do what we want by inducing guilt, hurt, by using intimidation, and control tactics (such as anger). Covert or overt, we simply want our needs met–right now! Although there are a few arenas where aggressive behavior is called for (i.e., sports or war), it will never work in a relationship. Ironically, the more aggressive sports rely heavily on team members and rational coaching strategies. Even war might be avoided if we could learn to be more assertive and negotiate to solve our problems.Passive CommunicationPassive communication is based on compliance and hopes to avoid confrontation at all costs. In this mode we don’t talk much, question even less, and actually do very little. We just don’t want to rock the boat. People that use passive communication styles have learned that it is safer not to react. They lack so much confidence in themselves that it feels better to disappear rather than to stand up, be noticed, and have a voice.Passive-Aggressive CommunicationA combination of styles, passive-aggressive avoids direct confrontation (passive), but attempts to get even through manipulation (aggressive). If you’ve ever thought about making that certain someone who needs to be “taught a thing or two” suffer (even just a teeny bit), you’ve stepped pretty close to (if not on into) the devious and sneaky world of the passive-aggressive. People that use this communication style operate out of fear and clearly do not have the courage to stand up and say what they need to say. Therefore, they use the cowardly form of passive-aggressive communication. They are the ones that will smile to your face and then “stab you in the back”. So, now what?Clearly, for many reasons, the only “HEALTHY EFFECTIVE” communication style is assertive communication. It is the only form of communication that is clearly a “key to success” and an effective communication skill. Surely you can identify many people in your own life that favor each of the four styles. Most of us use a combination of these four styles depending on the person or situation. The styles we choose generally depend on what our past experiences have taught us will work best to get our needs met in each specific situation. If you take a really good look at yourself you’ve probably used each style throughout your lifetime in different situations with certain people.Understanding the four basic types of communication will help you learn how to RESPOND most effectively when confronted with a difficult person. It is very important that you always use “SELF-CONTROL” and do NOT “REACT”! This is a skill learned through personal development. When we “react” to someone we have just given our power away! It will also help you to recognize when you are using manipulative behavior to get your own needs met.Remember, you always have a choice as to which communication style you use. If you’re serious about taking control of your life it is best to practice being more assertive. It will help you diffuse anger, reduce guilt, and build relationships – both personally and professionally. This is a “key to success” and a principle that requires a high degree of self-confidence and discipline.Action Steps:1. To communicate effectively begin to pay attention to which communication styles you use throughout the day. How often do you use a communication style other than “ASSERTIVE”? 2. Watch and identify the communication styles some of the difficult people in your life use. Can you begin to notice how others use manipulative techniques to get their way? Learning communication effectively will increase your success in all of your relationships and it is the only one that is a “key to success”.

Persuasion is easier to apply during a conversation between two people, as opposed to communicating in front of a group. This is because in a person-to-person setting, the opportunity to better understand the point of view of the other party exists. You can nitpick and delve into every single detail, as opposed to speaking to an audience, where the interaction is usually one sided.
In this kind of setting, it is possible for you and the other person to reach a compromise that would bring the best probable value for both of you. You may even want to change your stance while you’re at it. In short, person-to-person conversations are so open and flexible that it allows not just you to change course, but also allow you to alter another person’s mindset.
How do you get the most out of person-to-person interactions?
Have Patience
Persuasion may not happen on your first try – or even the second, the third, or the fourth. There are times that a certain idea has to be pondered on and assessed more deeply and critically, that to be too aggressive in getting acceptance might only ruin chances of a good deal. We’ve been through this situation before. How many times have we been told, “If you try to push me one more time, I will have to turn you down”?
Effective persuasion requires skill, not annoying pushiness. If you are sensitive enough to know the symptoms of agreement or submission, you will be able to steer the conversation to a point where you have the opportunity to persuade. If the other party doesn’t seem to be leaning toward your idea and his or her body language shows it, then you should know better to try at another time instead.
Stop Yourself From Rebutting Too Much
One of the greatest mistakes of persuasiveness is your penchant to answer back and rebut. We often try to pretend to listen to another person’s idea, which we do not really agree to, when in fact, what we are doing is preparing for a rebuttal to his or her statements. No matter how discreet you try to be at this, the other party will eventually notice that you are zoned out and will do the same to you when it’s your turn to give your ideas.
What ensues is a discussion that has two levels: one that is verbal and obvious, and one that is based on underlying meanings and subliminal banter. You may be able to prove your point and so will the other person, but nobody really wins.
Nobody can successfully persuade if the conversation is just based on a subliminal battle. When you’re trying to sell something, this will be your deal killer. In a friendship, this is what will burn bridges. This habit is very undesirable. Try to stop yourself every time you feel inclined to do so.
To effectively persuade another person, you have to truly believe in what you are saying. Intellectual honesty and genuine concern for other people will give you that persuasive edge. If you don’t feel passionate enough, the other party will notice it and will not be convinced. It’s not likely that you will be able to successfully sell an idea you have feel no passion about.
In addition, you can’t be effective at persuasion if you are not open to being persuaded also. Remember, you’re not the only one who is trying to get your point heard. In a person-to-person setting, the other party is also seeking to win you over to his or her side.
In order to persuade, you must be sincere. Aside from that, you also need to effectively communicate your emotions and thoughts. You can do this not just by saying the right things, but also by employing the proper assertive behavior and body language. Thus, if you want to improve your persuasion skills, don’t be a drag. Be open-minded and show it.

The concept of being assertive is about seeing yourself as an equal who has certain rights. Also it involves respecting the fact that the people you deal with on a daily basis have the same rights as you do. So what exactly are these rights? They involve having the right to say no and the right to change your mind as well as the right to make mistakes. They involve having the right to express feeling and opinions as well as the right to disagree and put forward an alternative interpretation.

What many people don’t realise is that being assertive is not a personality trait; it is something that is learned. The behaviour of being assertive is our ability to state our wants and feelings openly as well as respecting the wants and feelings of those we are talking to, even if these wants and feeling differ from our own.

Assertiveness training The idea behind learning to be more assertive came around the time when women’s liberation was really starting to take off. It started originally in the US when women started to go on courses about it to learn how to be more confident in male dominated workplaces.

In our day and age this trait is taught by many experts in personal development. It is now considered to be an important communication skill so how do you exactly go about improving it?

There are several techniques that can help you in this field. One of these techniques is known as broken record, which is used when you are trying to get someone do to something you have asked them to. It involves repeating a request over and over again until the outcome is what you want it to be. It involves asking calmly and politely while blocking attempts of distraction or changing of the subject.

Another training technique that is used is known as fogging. So what does this involve? Believe it or not a lot of us probably already carry out this technique, even if we don’t consider ourselves to be assertive in the slightest. It is especially carried out by people who work in jobs that involve a lot of contact with the general public. The way that this technique is carried out is training yourself to stay calm within the face of criticism and taking on board anything that may be critical but fair. If you train yourself to refuse to be provoked and hurt by criticism you receive then you remove the destructive power that the words can cause. It requires you to have a certain level of control but the outcome is very effective.

Lastly another technique is called negative assertion. This basically means you are accepting and agreeing with some parts of the criticism; you are taking on board aspects that are valid. You are however doing this without allowing yourself to become consumed by guilt or self-loathing. This is one way that you could go about using this technique, another way is to own up to your mistakes before anyone says anything to you. This demonstrates that you admit the problem and accept responsibility.

The above are some of the most effective ways that you can train to become more assertive. Anyone who is looking into becoming more assertive should seek help or a training course as this will allow them to take on board aspects such as the above and then apply such techniques to their everyday lives.